The Great Texas Aggie Chicken Stampede
by Emily R. Cosentino
Maynard Grey sat on his bunk cleaning his ears with the end of his spur. He usually used a piece of bailing wire but this itch had wakened him early and caught him unprepared. Every morning, like his father and his father before him, Maynard rose in the darkness and headed for the chicken coop. The Greys had long worked for the Moffet Family Chicken Ranch and this gave Maynard a great sense of pride and tradition. But more than that, he treasured the secret that only he knew: the mighty power of the chicken. He was convinced of it. And as each morning dawned, this mysterious power was proven again and again. For all of his education at Texas A & M had proven to him the importance of scientific study and repeated results.
Sneaking around the back of the coop, Maynard waited for the miracle to unfold. The rooster was already taking careful steps towards the fence post. The rooster's eyes darted about checking his surroundings. The hot morning breeze assured his safety. He flew atop the fence post and began to call out to the sun. Maynard's heart lept with anticipation. Though he had seen the rooster make the sun magically appear a thousand times before, there was always a twinge of doubt that twisted in his belly. "Would the morning fail to come because the rooster had lost his power? Would the world rest in darkness forever because the sun no longer heeded the rooster's call?" Maynard's doubts were put to rest as the red haze crept along the horizon. The rooster had done it again. Maynard turned away from the horizon, for he knew he was not worthy of such magic. The sun, unable to disobey the rooster's authority, began to slowly rise in the east. Maynard smiled deeply with satisfaction. And so began a new day.
Maynard ambled along to the stockyards where the other chickens were stirring and waiting to be fed. The sun was hardly in the sky but a hot wind was licking against the sand. It was going to be a scorcher. Bully, his younger and somewhat unfortunate brother, met him at the gate. He was already atop his horse ready to work. Bully didn't trust chickens much and would never come off his horse when they were around. Ever since the incident that left him covered in flour and ready to fry, Bully had his suspicions. No one knew why a sack of flour fell from the barn or why the floor was shined with grease. When he came to his senses, a lone feather still floated on the wind. The chickens could smell his fear and Bully knew they secretly taunted him to come down off of his saddle.
As he leaned against the gate, Maynard waited for his cousin, Luke. He was trotting up the road with Maynard's horse in tow. Following alongside Luke was his ever faithful Hampshire pig he called Sister. Sister meant more to Luke than even his own kin. They were never apart and even exchanged gifts at Christmas. Everyone wondered at Sister's name since they hardly favored but all agreed she was just as good as any ranch hand when it came time for the chicken drive. Maynard, Bully and Luke had worked the annual chicken drive for the past ten years. Across the range they would drive the chickens to higher and lusher ground. Maynard always looked forward to the drive because it was the one event that truly defined a chicken ranch hand. But a part of him was always tore up inside and he would choke back a tear and blame it on his sinuses. The real reason he was conflicted was due to Louella Moffet. She was the youngest daughter of Jimmie Joe and Prunella Moffet. Louella was lovelier than a prickly pear and sent Maynard's heart soaring. She had dimples he would die for and her eyes sparkled like starlight. If she had wanted, Maynard would give up chickens forever. But she did not ask, for Maynard had never confessed his love for her. Instead he settled himself on tending her rose garden or listening to her play the piano through an open window as the sun dipped below the sky. But each morning as the sun rose up so did his hope that he might have a chance to speak with her and hear her whisper his name. Maynard never liked the idea of being away from the ranchhouse for too long and the chicken drive was always two good weeks away from Louella.
Luke sucked on a toothpick and wiped sweat from his brow. The breeze had picked up a bit but it was getting hotter. A few drops of rain fell from a passing cloud and sizzled in the sand. Maynard stood in silence as the chickens crowded the gate. This was a strange kind of heat and it bothered him. Down by the stocktank, sand and dust swirled together and blew across the ridge. Sand devils. Maynard couldn't stand them. They always popped up unexpectedly and caught him off guard. He hated having sand in his shorts.
The sand blew harder and it seemed the Moffet's old Ford was choking as Jimmie Joe tried to start her. Louella came running out of the house wearing the prettiest yellow dress Maynard had ever seen. She was as bright as a lemon and Maynard puckered just looking at her. If she was running for Citrus Queen of Brazos County she would have had his vote, but truth was she was on her way to College Station for the Homecoming Football Game. All her dreams had brought her to this moment. In her heart of hearts she prayed she would be crowned Texas A & M Homecoming Queen of 1927. The old Ford finally started and her sisters Rayette and Nadine kissed her good-by and wished her all the best. Prunella held her daughter close and whispered a family beauty secret into her youngest's ear. "Tissue," she said,"lots and lots of tissue." And with that, Prunella pressed a wad of tissues into her tender daughter's hand. Louella understood. Jimmie Joe lifted his pretty young daughter into the pick-up and they headed for town. College Station was only a few miles away, but the Homecoming Court was needed early for the pre-game festivities.
Earl Skruggs, the school's quarterback, would be her escort. He was the pride and joy of Texas A & M University because everthing he touched turned to gold. He was the only student to win the Ring Toss and Kennelration's "Best in Show" at the County Fair. He felt fortunate to be by Louella's side at Homecoming but he couldn't help but worry that his luck had turned. Only the night before he was chosen to light the bonfire before the game. But, as Earl stepped up to the mound with his match all aglow, he turned back to smile for the school's photographer when the hairs on his back caught fire. He was a carpet of flickering embers. Once the flames were extinguished, Earl swaggered over to the Calf-Fry Eating Contest for he had the dubious honor of gagging back the first one. He did, and when he was revived, Earl became suspicious of his lucky rabbit's foot he kept in his pocket, for afterall what rabbit is really lucky with only three feet.
Jimmie Joe and Louella drove up the dirt road towards the highway. As they reached the front gate Louella turned and waved at Maynard, Bully and Luke. "Wish me luck", was all she said. Maynard could feel his legs dangle like wet noodles just by the sound of her voice. He was convinced she was looking right at him, obviously the only one of the three she could trust with the unburdening of her soul. Then outbroke an argument when Luke, in all his confidence, swore to Bully that she had said, "Kiss me Luke." Maynard's eyes followed the Moffet's old Ford as it turned onto the dirt highway. He turned away only when dust and sand clouded his vision and he could see the old Ford no longer.
Maynard gathered the reins and swung himself atop his horse. He leaned down and pulled the gate open. Bully, Luke and Sister were in their places ready for the chicken drive to begin. At first the chickens only pecked the ground and scratched a bit but soon they filed through the gate and headed north with Bully leading the way. Sister ran back and forth driving the strays back into the herd. Maynard and Luke came up from behind and kept the chickens moving forward. The sun beat down and dulled Maynard's senses. He slumped in his saddle as his thoughts drifted to a frozen stream in the dead of winter. A cold blast of air shook the snow from a Cedar tree branch and stung his eyes. Maynard flinched. He shook back to his senses and folded his arms tight into his chest. Luke and Bully had their heads bent into the oncoming northerner. The temperature dropped. The winds chilled their bones and worried their minds.
The horses stamped their hooves and fought to turn back to the safety of the barn. The chickens, stopped in their tracks, craned their necks at the dark cloud moving across the plain. Maynard and Luke whipped and whistled to move the chickens onward but they wouldn't budge. Snorting, spitting and grinding her teeth, Sister tried to encourage the livestock forward but to no avail. The dark cloud boiled and hissed. The air became thin and Maynard gasped to catch his breath. The cloud rose upon itself then crashed down with a thunderous bolt of lightning. The earth quaked and moaned. The plain was ripped apart by a great fracture that sizzled and smoldered in the ground. That was when Maynard began to rethink his relationship with the chicken, because the greatest stampede ever known to any rancher was well underway. And to make matters worse, the chickens were headed in the wrong direction. In fact, they were stampeding straight for College Station.
Bully, Luke, Maynard and Sister tore after them. The chickens were a good hundred yards out in front and gaining more ground. Feathers and dust filled the sky and Maynard, sometime later, swore it was worse than any blizzard he could recall. They passed the stocktank were the windmill once stood. All that was left were tangled steel and wooden splinters. The chickens barrelled through barbed-wire fences and crushed cactus beds. Farmhouses were battered and tractors were mangled flat. Otis Jenkins, the only Baylor fan in College Station, stood out on his porch and took in the sight. Off in the distance he could see the great storm coming. The ground began to rumble under his feet as he ran for his Ford. He prayed there was time to warn the others.
The distance between Maynard and the chickens grew. It seemed his only hope was that they might tire and stop running. All he could think about was how Louella would look on him with disappointment and remember him as the fella who lost her daddy's chickens. How could he possibly marry into a family that had become destitute by his own hand. Then he remembered Clifford's tomato farm and his abandoned road that led to town. It was his only chance to divert certain doom.
Otis pulled up next to the playing field at Texas A & M. It was already half-time and The Texas Longhorns led A & M, 14-6. Louella sat in the back of a flatbed truck with the other Homecoming Queen nominees as they prepared to circle the track. She whispered a prayer and crossed her fingers, then tucked the tissue for insurance. The Texas Longhorn Marching Band left the field and The Fightin' Aggie Band stomped out to the fifty-yard line. The Drum Major lifted his baton and before a single note could be played, all eyes turned to Otis Jenkins. Hollering with all his might he stood atop the field goal. "Quick! Hurry! Save yourselves! Great doom is nearly upon us! Get to higher ground!," he shouted till he lost his voice. No one paid him much attention. They figured it was just another Baptist preaching hellfire and damnation.
The band began to play and the flatbed truck slowly made its way around the track. Earl and the other escorts proudly walked out to the sidelines to wait for the Homecoming Queen nominees. Maynard, Bully, Luke and Sister came to a screeching halt right outside the Longhorn endzone. The stands bowed at the weight of the fans. Maynard was sure every citizen of College Station was present. The ground began to rumble and Maynard, Bully, Luke and Sister turned around to face the chickens of doom. Creating a shield, they locked arms and braced themselves. Maynard and Luke prayed for a miracle. Bully secretly hoped he would not die in vain. The chickens were coming fast upon them. Bully's teeth chattered as he looked into the their beady little eyes. Maynard sucked in his breath. Before he could let it out again the chickens flew up over their heads straight onto the field. Darkness fell over the turf as the sun was blotted out. A great white fury fell from the sky and pelted fans, band members, football players and Miss Louella. Someone screamed, "The Great Hens of Hell have been unleashed upon us!" Others were screaming, "The Lord has sent chickens as judgement upon our souls! Repent! Repent!" All at once the crowd hit their knees and begged for forgiveness. Everyone, that is, but Earl.
Earl was laid out cold by a chicken as he took Louella by the arm. The crowd's supplications calmed the chickens and with an occasional cluck, they were content to peck and scratch at the field. Maynard, Bully, Luke and Sister scrambled to drive the chickens off the field. The clock continued to tick away the half-time program and the Homecoming search for a Queen continued on. Standing out on the edge of the field the Homecoming Queen nominees resumed posing, but with agitated smiles. Their dresses were stained or torn and their hair had fallen into their eyes. Louella couldn't have stopped smiling if she had wanted to. And she didn't dare swallow either. Her cheeks, round and full for that healthy glow, were bursting with tissue. As the announcer named her The Homecoming Queen of 1927, she breathed a sigh of relief and accidently did something she had wanted to do for a long time. She swallowed. As the former Homecoming Queen placed the crown upon Louella's head, streams of tears stained her cheeks. The fans wildly cheered but Louella was having a hard time hearing them. Matter of fact, she was having a hard time seeing them too because a dark mist clouded her sight. She couldn't believe her luck. She had always said that if she was named Homecoming Queen that she would die a happy girl. But she hadn't expected it so soon. And what bothered her more was that Becky Barnes, the first runner-up, was in no way able to uphold the title of Homecoming Queen with all its rights and privileges.
She reached out her hands grasping for help, but the fans only cheered louder and waved back. Maynard, still driving the chickens off the field, mustered up some courage and decided to be the first one to congratulate her. He fought his way through the throng of chickens till he was face to face with Louella. He felt fidgety but still he said, "You're prettier than every Homecoming Queen that ever was, Louella Moffet, that ever was," and nervously slapped her on the back. That was all it took and Louella was put right again. She was so happy that Becky Barnes wouldn't get to wear the crown that she hugged his neck and gave him a kiss. It was the kind of kiss that both of them would never forget.
Bully, Luke and Sister drove the chickens back to the ranch without anymore trouble except for that day's little reminders. The chickens left such a mess on the seats that the Aggies had to stand for the rest of the game. The Aggies fought back to win over Texas 27-21 in overtime. Maynard and Louella fell in love, got hitched and had three children, Naban, Lloyd and Lucita. And, twenty thousand souls were saved that day at the Texas A & M Homecoming Game.